in due time, we'll finally see there's barely time for us to breathe

despite the disconnect i am feeling, i am ever so gracious for the little surprises this summer has bestowed upon me.

i am not a fan of this awful && rainy weather. one day of sunshine between entire weeks of raining have never been beneficial for me. however, the seconds in the day do not go unnoticed by me.

and, i am increasingly distressed by the useless 'things' that everyone cares about. i do not give a damn about sports--blackhawks/world cup, blah blah. i want to know how everyone can go on living their days out without recognizing the ill--the homeless, the children who are abused and neglected, the animals that are slaughtered after being given hormones, etc. which are now causing problems in our own bodies, the way children are being raised with television as their parents--i want them to love, to have compassion, to enjoy the outdoors, to understand that we don't have to buy and work so much. life was meant to be enjoyed wasn't it??

i want to scream: what about the families crossing the border, what about the murders in juarez?? what about the way that we define borders and the notion of keeping people out?? what about our inability to stop consumption and to grow our own food?? what about our focus on ourselves as individuals?? what happened to a sense of community or a sense of concern for our neighbor?

i guess i am still trying to negotiate my own life within these thoughts.

anyway...

i received a card from a friend that i haven't seen in a long time. it reminded me how well some people can know you without you even knowing. the note was absolutely beautiful. handwritten notes are both incredibly personal and genuine and it very nearly brought me to tears.

have made peace w. a few loose ends that have been bothering me recently as well.

and i have decided to push forward--to forge ahead as bravely as i possibly can. i may not like the way things have panned out sometimes, but that makes me no less grateful for them.

i am living through a time of infinite hope, but there is also a certain sadness for the ways in which my life and the lives of those around me have tended to pan out.

BUT, just b/c we might have pictured our lives a little bit differently from how they've turned out, we should not fail to see the beauty in the way things are.

sweeter dreams.
k

ps--happy father's day!! and on a special little note: i am forever grateful for the patience, love, and support my dad has always provided for me. whether it was going for bike rides every evening in the summers of my younger years or practicing and practicing softball with me for hours on end, to coming to every single one of those softball games [&&volleyball, cheerleading, && basketball as well], he has always shown his love and support. he worked hard to support us and to love us. and i can't ask for anything more. lovvvve him!