there's no way to grow that don't hurt

the end of this semester is getting me down as usual. i am busy, stressed, flushed, and overwhelmed. the thing is, i know i will push through as i always do. it is just incredibly frustrating in the empty moments.

i have been obsessed (and constantly listening to) iron && wine lately. perfection if i do say.

i feel the desire to share my latest happy list with you b/c i haven't for quite some time.


-the beautiful cave that is my apartment
-lord stanley's
-my grad school friends && our boisterious-ness and laughter
-looking forward to our service trip to NOLA
-passing comps w. distinction
-meeting up w. old friends
-fruit smoothies
-late fall
-crossing more items off my to-do list
-thinking about post-graduation possibilities
-candles burning
-organizing
-socializing && meeting new people
-becoming more assertive
-being w. family
-positive feedback
-being honest && open about my feelings
-beirut on a rainy, cold, quiet monday
-graduation anticipation
-the last days of a season
-sociological theory
-well-dressed men
-coffee


these are just a few.

i am feeling sort of at odds in my life right now. i will take this time and run with it because i know that it only ensures growth. i am still quite in love with this life.

some days, i don't want to hear the sound of my own voice. the silence sustains me somehow.

lastly, a quote:

"It was thus that I had rejoiced to see her nights without number, and that night, watching her as she sat between the firelight and the shaded lamp, unable to look away for love of her beauty, I suddenly thought, When else have I seen her like this? Why am I reminded of another moment of vision? And it came back to me that this was how she had sat in the liner, before the storm; this was how she had looked; and I realized that she had regained what I thought she had lost for ever, the magical sadness which had drawn me to her, the thwarted look that had seemed to say, “Surely I was made for some other purpose than this?"

—evelyn waugh, “brideshead revisited”

 sweeter dreams.
k