wake me when it's through i don't want to feel the things that you do

i wish i could get ahold of my motivation and drag it back into my life. i am at a complete loss for words when it comes to writing my papers. ugh.

i finished the book about edie sedgwick. i actually don't really like her anymore. i mean, obviously she's a great fashion icon. but she had so much charisma, so much potential to reach people but instead she pissed her life away by doing drugs. drugs. drugs. drugs. i didn't know she was so completely consumed by them. she was a cruel woman to her husband and manipulative of those around her. that's not to say she didn't have a certain vitality or uninhibited life that i admire, i just think she could have used her wealth, her powerful personality, and her liveliness to do some good in the world. i'm just disappointed by her i suppose.

she's beautiful, delicate and lively, but she's so sad.

my head hurts and i want to sleep, but no rest shall come for awhile. i'm feeling...hmm...i can't explain it. i am feeling hopeful, but also conflicted. i am content and accepting, but questioning and unsatisfied. so contradicting i can't even think straight. i've got to get my shit together.

sweeter dreams.
k