and i said romeo take me somewhere where we can be alone

after an entire day by myself, two glasses of wine, and no productiveness (as originally planned), i am ready to write. i think.

i'm pissed that i was extremely unproductive today. it was my intention to do some laundry and gather my books for class next week. both activities required going outside into the freezing cold air and snow. i couldn't bring myself to do it. instead, i watched obscene amounts of television, ate, and obsessively cleaned my apartment. i'm talking hands and knees floor scrubbing here [gross]. returning to the apartment made me so appreciative of the cleanliness and quiet beauty of my bedroom at home.

well, i suppose cleaning could be considered productive. and i'm prepared to spend the rest of the evening reading "love in the time of cholera." i finished "the bohemian manifesto" and i LOVED it. quirky, witty, humorous. anything i could ever ask for. i'm in the market for a great little bookcase at the moment. i need to hit up some salvation armies and goodwills apparently.

okay. so, tomorrow must be productive if it kills me. i'm going to drink large amounts of coffee to warm myself enough to brave the cold outside.

and i'm going to prep myself for the return to work(s). i have to go back sometime. for some reason i'm actually nervous. that gross [fear drenched] stomach dropping keeps happening everytime i think about it. it makes me want to run back home. i don't feel like spending the rest of my one and half years here, here. < does that make sense? i don't want to come back. hopefully, that is just a reclusive mood and only temporary. the quicker classes begin perhaps the less reluctant i will be to continue my studies. ugh. i hope so.

hopefully, nick comes for the weekend to take my mind off the impossibly dreaded week that will begin next week.

i don't want to talk about it.

today, i am thankful for: cleaning supplies, carlo rossi sangria [compliments of my eldest brother], and alone time. oh! and that today/tomorrow/soon i will be an auntie! eeee!

i love my family [and miss them tremendously].

sweeter dreams.
k