i'm not fond of the manner in which this week has begun. i won't talk about it anymore for fear i really will decide that i want to run away immediately.
have you ever just gotten the feeling that you're not in the right place. that you're not happy with what you're doing right now? that you have this urge to run off and do something different? i've stopped to think about being unhappy, but i've not the courage to follow up on those feelings and decide what it is i really am wanting.
i guess i'm just waiting around to graduate like i did in high school. the bliss from studying new subjects and topics has worn off and i'm just ready to move on to what might be next. but at the same time, i'll admit that i'm such a huge chicken that i most likely (but not absolutely) won't run away from my studies. i have one year left...why ever would i quit now? i guess i wouldn't see it as quitting as much as chasing after something i might love and continue to love even after almost three years. but if i'm not certain what that may be, i probably shouldn't go chasing it should i?
i'm just stressed out about absolutely everything. i'm so, so thankful for my mother. she is a wise, rational, kind-hearted, thoughtful, generous, and loving woman. i would have lost it tonight if it weren't for her.
it's going down...the question is whether it will take me with it or leave me be. or maybe the question is whether or not i will allow it to.
sweeter dreams.
k
ps--i really am sorry.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment