the surest way to have nothing is to give nothing...

a song by the band brand new goes like this...

"i hope you can forget the things that i still lack."


welcome to my life right there. each and every day brings me another quality that i thought i may have seen in myself, perhaps fleetingly, well most definitely fleetingly, because when i look back again...it's missing. and i'm stuck right there at the beginning. inadequate. always inadequate. i don't measure up to the expectations i ever even had for myself. whatever those are, i don't know until i realize i am not it. everyday i go to sleep thinking about all the things i had yet to accomplish that day, the things i didn't get finished. and i wonder, will tomorrow be another day?

i don't know. i guess i just find myself wondering what the hell i'm doing here? what is the purpose of my existence on this earth? not only mine, but yours as well. why are we here? what are we supposed to be doing. i know this is a question that will not necessarily be answered. it has plagued the mind of many great men before me and still will be asked long after i am gone from here. but still. what am i supposed to be doing with my life? is my major going to be something i enjoy? can i even make it here? what am i doing?!!!

it's going to be one of those days again, i am absolutely convinced of it.

sweeter dreams.
**K