Tuesday, October 9, 2007

it makes no difference who i meet...just another face in the crowd

wow. this is an accurate description of the picture in my head right now: i am kneeling on the ground, beaten, and i'm raising my hands to the sky pleading with someone or something for relief from everything.

well, whatever. i got my comm 264 paper back...i got a b-/c+. looks like that class is destined for me to get a C or lower. at least that's what it feels like especially after that test last night. it's like i'm not allowed to do better. i'm just not capable. i'm an idiot. but, it's okay. i'm not mad.

i've decided after some thought that i can't even tell if i'm trying to make myself happy anymore. it's like there's this big blank wall inside of my head that just does not allow me to be happy so even if i were to try...the task feels absolutely impossible. that wall just stays firmly in place giving me nothing.

i can't believe i got a c+ on that paper. ewww.

maybe i'm just being a downer...some days i feel like i could be happy, but then other days...i just feel so shitty.

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